record review: Them Crooked Vultures (eponymous debut)

I remember the first time I heard of peanut butter pretzels. My pre-marijuana self salivated at the thought of the exquisite combination of two of the greatest salty foods ever.

The first time I ate one, though, was a whole other world of explosive. My 10th grade English teacher brought some in for the class one day. The texture, the layered intensity and flakiness…I even remember the passage from Medea we were working on that day…But I digress.

John Paul Jones.
Dave Grohl.
Josh Homme.
A triple threat? Yes, very much so.

So how is it that the first few times I gave their album a listen, I never got past the whole “hot damn this sounds like sex on a stick” thing? It may have been the fact that I was kind-of-sort-of inebriated the first time I heard the album in its entirety, and subsequently only listened to it while multitasking. Yesterday, I was listening to it with headphones on for the first time, and I noticed that Dave lends his vocals on the irresistibly grimy second track, “Mind Eraser, No Chaser” (which, strangely enough, concludes with a set of child friendly horns, echoing a video game I played once upon a time called Banjo Kazooie). But my mighty little earbuds also helped me notice something else.

This album is fucking insane. The precision with which the above mentioned musicians go about constructing this album is mind-boggling to say the least. This phenomenal debut is so intrinsically superior to what our ears are used to hearing, that it is incredibly easy for the songs to float right in one ear and out the other without so much as a dazzled expression of delighted disorientation on our parts.

Don’t let this be an album you overlook, for the very paradoxical reason that you know it will rock your world. Sometimes, the sum of an equation is far greater than its parts, even if the things you begin with are your favourite things.

This album is so much more than anything Led Zeppelin, Foo Fighters, or Queens of the Stone Age have ever released. No, I’m not making the claim that it is BETTER. Just that the combination of three of the most aggressively dedicated, no-nonsense men in the music biz is something mind blowing indeed.

They are a majestic force, and the greatest part of it is that there IS NO FRONTMAN. They are collaborating in every sense of the word. It’s a beautiful cycle indeed, seeing such forerunners of rock’s different chronological and genre-based subsets convolve ever so seamlessly.

It’s funny how albums which initially seem to lack diversity within songwriting quickly emerge as collections of such a wide array of aural opulence. Right now, each song sounds so distinct, so deliciously subversive.

If we were all highly musically evolved, this album would be an instant classic. Alas, some of us need a few listens to get settled, but from then on out, it's a no brainer. I must admit that even I had to let go of my own shortcomings as a mere mortal to be able to grasp the greatness that is
THEM
CROOKED
VULTURES.

Pick up this album and ready yourself for a filthily magnificent ride into the depths of hell. Long live rock n roll.

4.5/5

Them Crooked Vultures - Dead End Friends [mp3]